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persephone's avatar

oh wow thank you , I was just talking to my mom about how lonely I feel , both among people and with myself , I told her how I felt like I was nobody's prioritie, nobodys first choice , and as much as I love my own company (most of the time) and I know a lot of people, I always yearn for something deeper , something I dont have a name for yet , or maybe I dont fully know what I want.

but the thing is , you made me feel seen , thank you

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liv jarrell's avatar

we are riding the same wave right now, my friend! i’m so glad you resonated with this. it’s an odd thing to crave alone time yet yearn for connection at the same time. what is one to do with that? like i said, i don’t have the answers. but just know you are not alone. 🫶🏼💕

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Erin's avatar

"You can be proud of your independence and still long to be chosen."

This is beautifully done. The imagery of you sitting reading a book at a bar alone was so real. I've had moments like this - like going to the movies by myself which I've done before with no issues, and then all of a sudden the loneliness hits me. It's painful when it hits.

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liv jarrell's avatar

ah so glad you resonated with that part! i went back and forth on it because i thought it made me sound a little pathetic haha but im glad i included it for exactly this reason! i’m not the only one who feels this way. loneliness hits at the most unexpected times sometimes. thanks so much for reading 🫶🏼💕

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ash 🧸🤍's avatar

this is so spot on

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liv jarrell's avatar

glad you can relate xx

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Prajna O'Hara's avatar

So well written and relatable. We had ten around the table. I felt crowded until I lived as a renúnciate/hermi/denier of needs. The balance is not easy to strike

You nailed it.

I enjoy both good company and alone good company… nice to read your piece.

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liv jarrell's avatar

thanks so much, prajna! wow 10 people!! you can definitely relate, haha. i’m still trying to find the right balance…i think we all are. i so appreciate you reading ☺️💕

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MJ Bel's avatar

At the root of loneliness is a desire to be seen and accepted, being the social creatures we are. I have no doubt that we all experience it.

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liv jarrell's avatar

100%!

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sadie's avatar

This is gorgeous

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liv jarrell's avatar

thank you so much 💕

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Eleana Josephine🧚🏻's avatar

I resonate with this. I believe it’s normal to have waves of loneliness come through when you are doing solo activities because our brains are primed and wired for connection. So it’s a subconscious thing. Once I learnt this it became easier to allow myself to witness the feeling of loneliness arise and then let it pass through me because I know it’s just part of the human experience. 🩷 It’s better to do solo things until you attract your soul tribe who will truly see you and not make you feel that lonely feeling of being around people all the time who will never see you.

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liv jarrell's avatar

i love this perspective! and i completely agree. i would much rather be solo than surrounded by an unmatched circle. so glad this resonated with you and thank you so much for reading!! 🫶🏼💕

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Eleana Josephine🧚🏻's avatar

I think living in London personally can be hard to find your tribe. But there are communities out there that are safe. I recently through a course met a couple wonderful peeps. It’ll happen. I’m just trusting the timing of it all myself aha x

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Tara Deacon's avatar

You totally nailed how I feel about this subject!! I love my solitude and alone time!! But there are times when I also yearn for deep soul to soul connections!! Im not good at small talk...I'm so awkward...I never know when a conversation like that is finished i can't tell you how many times I have fled the crime scene of small talk conversation without knowing the conversation wasn't finished from what I am told by the people who know me anyways 😆

I have long given up on those deep meaningful in person relationships we are all too spread apart and rare for that!! At least we can all gather in a place like this and feel both seen and heard!! Im truly grateful to the internet for that!! 💓💓💓 thank you for writing such a beautiful peice!! It really resonated with me!! I felt that deeply!!

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liv jarrell's avatar

i’m not good at small talk either, tara! hahaha but glad you felt seen by this piece. i think we’re all just hungry for a little more connection. thanks so much for sharing 🥹💗

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amal rasheed's avatar

this was an amazing read. thank you! <3

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liv jarrell's avatar

thank you, amal 🫶🏼💕 so glad you enjoyed!

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Andrea L's avatar

Every single word you wrote is how I’ve been feeling for the past 28 years, but couldn’t put words to it. I’m so happy alone and yet I crave emotional and physical intimacy with a partner from time to time. You’re right - we all feel this way, that’s just part of being human. Thank you for making us feel seen!

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liv jarrell's avatar

so glad you could relate, andrea! sending love 💕🫶🏼

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tammytitus's avatar

Incredibly introspective work. I find it so fascinating how people grow up with completely different perspectives in life. My childhood was the exact opposite of yours. All I had were my thoughts and silent words. Gazing up at the ceiling, waiting for my parents to get home, sitting in the corner of the cafeteria watching children laugh and cry and fight. My solitude was my solace until I entered college. Everyday I speak to someone new or go on some new adventure with my roommates, sisters or a lover. I wish I had more time to relish in my mind like I used to.

Sorry for the word vomit exicted to read more of your work.

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liv jarrell's avatar

so interesting!! did you find yourself yearning for the opposite when you were growing up, or have you always found solitude a pretty comfortable place? i imagine college was likely a shock to the system at first like my peace corps experience was. so glad you like the piece!

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tammytitus's avatar

I definitely did long for the opposite as a child lol. The grass is always greener

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Eatlovepray34's avatar

I'm in college right now and I always used to believe that I would have a friend group so big and bustling that'll make my university life worth it but unfortunately reality is different but now that I've spent enough time with myself and in my own company, I realized that I love the quiet, the deep conversations, the few who stays. But sometimes it's still feels heavy, good things feel faded without a companion and I'll always always crave this companionship.

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liv jarrell's avatar

i so relate! the reality vs expectation is so real and can sometimes force us into what’s uncomfortable, but i’m happy to hear you’re finding your groove in the quiet moments too. 💕🫶🏼

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Issabella Orlando's avatar

the title + subtitle are the unsung heroes of this newsletter, just saying!!!!

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liv jarrell's avatar

the way i spend more time thinking about these than the actual piece lol 😭 thanks, babe!! 🫶🏼

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Anannya Gupta's avatar

Beautiful. I Recently went through a breakup and now I have so much time at hand. I have started on the journey of self-exploration slowly and steadily which definitely does get lonely and this piece helped me feel at ease.

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liv jarrell's avatar

slow and steady is the perfect way. sending you comfort and love, anannya! 💕🫶🏼

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annika's avatar

beautiful, beautiful piece as always!!! i love this and can relate so much. i also grew up in a house where privacy was a myth, but i’ve learned to love the quiet moments i get with myself.

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liv jarrell's avatar

thank you, annika! 🫶🏼 learning to love the quiet moments was such a challenge for me at first, but now it’s like i have to unlearn it, haha. all about finding balance 😌

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jordan b 💌's avatar

such a lovely take on the separation of people. we’re all just trying to understand our own feelings, our own comforts and discomforts, our own place in this world. loved this 🕊️

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liv jarrell's avatar

thanks so much, jordan!! this is exactly the core of the piece :)

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