I recently read, "Experienced together, opposing feelings can tame each other" and that has helped me a lot, feel more calm in my contradictions but also remember that everyone around me is full of them too. We're all full of mixed feelings & that's hard to forget when we're all asking each other to be polarized.
that’s such a beautiful line! there’s so much grace in remembering we’re all carrying contradictions, not just privately but constantly bumping into each other with them, and you’re right…in a world that rewards extremes, gentleness with our mixed feelings feels almost radical. holding onto that.
This made me realise how I feel as though I’m supposed to hold strong in every conviction I have no matter how insignificant it would be to change my mind or to be indifferent. I never thought of ambivalence as a choice, but I do now & my brain is changed forever
Don’t worry about truth being contradictory or duality.
People all too often frame truth as a single statement. But any logical thinker knows truth has equation.
You can evaluate a statement as true…and then change one order of variable or another variable exchanged entirely. And get something that’s false or even a new thing that’s true. Yet it contradicts with your previous statement because you’re sharing variables between the equation.
So yes it’s very human. Controllers project what neat and tidy is, by isolating every fucking think in the world to one statement at a time, one variable.
So if I say I need a job today. But judge the truth of that statement by recognizing what needs to be done before getting my job. I’m not hypocritical or backing out of my plan. I’m discussing with someone a litany of issues…and they just reorder the equation to handle one thing at a time.
If you want your freedom…yet get choked up seeing a couple engaged in positive couple bonding. You really just don’t want to lose your power and freedom, and more importantly want a real partner.
You’re smart enough to know finding a true commitment is low percentage, and too scared because you probably have no experience having freedom when committed.
Your indecision is actually a product of all your support who also probably has limited experience and judgment to guide you properly.
Simply having this epiphany shows your thinking more than your average bear.
this is such a thoughtful way to frame it. truth as an equation, not a single fixed statement. it really is about how we’re taught to isolate instead of integrate. love the “be messy” ending!
Yeah, look up logical equations in discrete mathematics.
You know, those who try to bend truth. They present false statements and call them true.
The take true statements and call them false or indeterminable.
Then you chain those statements up to provide a QED to your life equation. And you get untrue statement evaluating to true, or vice verse.
It’s life. And how we usually relate to perspectives being unique. In reality, the perspective is just some people read the equations of logic correctly. Some change it purposely. Some change it without knowledge of their errors. And some don’t even see the process lol.
You seem like a deep thinker…so I thought you’d enjoy.
Ahhh you have once again read my mind, I literally just wrote something about this! It’s the omnipresent dilemma of the female experience - are we categorising ourselves to fit neatly into certain paths for ourselves or to please others? Most of the time the latter. I say to hell with that. Give me your contradictions!!!
yes!! exactly this. it’s wild how often our clarity is shaped by what’s most palatable to others, like we’re narrating ourselves in advance, trying to preempt disappointment. but there’s so much power in honoring the contradiction, the contradiction as the truth. send me what you wrote!!
Beautiful! At 63, I understand exactly what you are saying! Growing up in the 70’s and entering college in the early 80’s, we had such a feeling of apathy…not because we were apathetic! We cared deeply! We were simply tired of all the noise of the 60’s…did everything really have to be such a fight? Couldn’t you change the world in a different way? Hang in there…you are literally “being the change” versus screaming about the change. I think it’s a tougher path in some ways, but you are making a bigger difference, having greater impact, and bringing more people with you. Trust me! You’ll see it in time!
I am always so fascinated and honestly, most comfortable, in the contradiction, ambiguity, and the "grey area" of life if you will. Holding space for multiple emotions, even when it might not make sense, is a sign of emotional depth and intelligence in my eyes!
I recently read, "Experienced together, opposing feelings can tame each other" and that has helped me a lot, feel more calm in my contradictions but also remember that everyone around me is full of them too. We're all full of mixed feelings & that's hard to forget when we're all asking each other to be polarized.
that’s such a beautiful line! there’s so much grace in remembering we’re all carrying contradictions, not just privately but constantly bumping into each other with them, and you’re right…in a world that rewards extremes, gentleness with our mixed feelings feels almost radical. holding onto that.
This made me realise how I feel as though I’m supposed to hold strong in every conviction I have no matter how insignificant it would be to change my mind or to be indifferent. I never thought of ambivalence as a choice, but I do now & my brain is changed forever
i’m so glad this piece resonated with you and helped bring some clarity 💕🫶🏼
my ambivalence rn is should I stay or should I go? I feel the 50/50 mean weight of both truths and how real they are.
it’s heavy and certainly not easy, but the fact that you’re aware that you feel both is already huge. sending love 💕🫶🏼
Needed this read tonight!
so glad it found you 💕🫶🏼
Don’t worry about truth being contradictory or duality.
People all too often frame truth as a single statement. But any logical thinker knows truth has equation.
You can evaluate a statement as true…and then change one order of variable or another variable exchanged entirely. And get something that’s false or even a new thing that’s true. Yet it contradicts with your previous statement because you’re sharing variables between the equation.
So yes it’s very human. Controllers project what neat and tidy is, by isolating every fucking think in the world to one statement at a time, one variable.
So if I say I need a job today. But judge the truth of that statement by recognizing what needs to be done before getting my job. I’m not hypocritical or backing out of my plan. I’m discussing with someone a litany of issues…and they just reorder the equation to handle one thing at a time.
If you want your freedom…yet get choked up seeing a couple engaged in positive couple bonding. You really just don’t want to lose your power and freedom, and more importantly want a real partner.
You’re smart enough to know finding a true commitment is low percentage, and too scared because you probably have no experience having freedom when committed.
Your indecision is actually a product of all your support who also probably has limited experience and judgment to guide you properly.
Simply having this epiphany shows your thinking more than your average bear.
So be messy😊
this is such a thoughtful way to frame it. truth as an equation, not a single fixed statement. it really is about how we’re taught to isolate instead of integrate. love the “be messy” ending!
Yeah, look up logical equations in discrete mathematics.
You know, those who try to bend truth. They present false statements and call them true.
The take true statements and call them false or indeterminable.
Then you chain those statements up to provide a QED to your life equation. And you get untrue statement evaluating to true, or vice verse.
It’s life. And how we usually relate to perspectives being unique. In reality, the perspective is just some people read the equations of logic correctly. Some change it purposely. Some change it without knowledge of their errors. And some don’t even see the process lol.
You seem like a deep thinker…so I thought you’d enjoy.
Nice ❤️ and God bless you
thank you 🫶🏼💕
Your welcome
Ahhh you have once again read my mind, I literally just wrote something about this! It’s the omnipresent dilemma of the female experience - are we categorising ourselves to fit neatly into certain paths for ourselves or to please others? Most of the time the latter. I say to hell with that. Give me your contradictions!!!
yes!! exactly this. it’s wild how often our clarity is shaped by what’s most palatable to others, like we’re narrating ourselves in advance, trying to preempt disappointment. but there’s so much power in honoring the contradiction, the contradiction as the truth. send me what you wrote!!
Beautiful! At 63, I understand exactly what you are saying! Growing up in the 70’s and entering college in the early 80’s, we had such a feeling of apathy…not because we were apathetic! We cared deeply! We were simply tired of all the noise of the 60’s…did everything really have to be such a fight? Couldn’t you change the world in a different way? Hang in there…you are literally “being the change” versus screaming about the change. I think it’s a tougher path in some ways, but you are making a bigger difference, having greater impact, and bringing more people with you. Trust me! You’ll see it in time!
Great work! I love your writing! 🤗
I am always so fascinated and honestly, most comfortable, in the contradiction, ambiguity, and the "grey area" of life if you will. Holding space for multiple emotions, even when it might not make sense, is a sign of emotional depth and intelligence in my eyes!